My teenager isn’t sleeping.

He’s worried about Trump’s open declaration of genocide. He’s worried about GCSEs. He fears for his safety, because of his gender identity, his neurodivergence. He fears for his future in a world where entry level jobs are being evaporated to AI.

Should I tell him to be more resilient? To just Get On With It?

In the face of global societal challenges, resilience must be a shared responsibility.

I was raised to just Get On With It. It’s why I thought I was resilient. Not in an emotionally stilted British “stiff upper lip” kind of way, but just that no matter what life threw at me,  it was my responsibility to have a positive mental attitude. I viewed unhappiness or discomfort as a personal failing.

I told myself I’d deal with it once the crisis had passed, or once the project was finished, once I got a new job, or moved house, or started that exercise regime.

Getting On With It didn’t solve anything. It just meant putting difficult feelings into a box marked “Later” and sliding it onto a high shelf. Out of sight, out of mind.

Sometimes, taking a short break would make the box a little bigger so I wasn’t so aware of it. But the box was still there. Filling up. Until eventually, it was so filled with unmet feelings that the high shelf couldn’t take it anymore.  

What I thought of as resilience was actually just adding to the weight, and the eventual slow-motion collapse.

Resilience is ordinary,  not extraordinary

Too often when we talk about resilience and well-being at work, it feels like it’s our responsibility as individuals. We rarely look closely enough at what is causing the ill-being.

Resilience isn’t a personality trait. It is a demand from the environment we ask people to be in.

Being resilient does not mean that you don’t experience difficulty or distress. It doesn’t mean you need to be wrapped up in cotton wool and never exposed to anxiety or discomfort.

Nor is it about accepting or consenting to unreasonable demands. It is not about enduring harassment or bullying or accepting unfair treatment, racism, sexism, inequalities.

Resilience is defined as the process of negotiating, managing, and adapting to significant sources of stress.

It is about taking the source of stress and changing it – whether that’s through resistance, recovery or transformation.

Research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary (Bonanno, 2004).

And that most of us have the key skills of resilience, but at times we are under-estimating them

Recently Freedom to Speak Up guardians in the ambulance sector asked me to help them build their resilience. But in speaking to them, it was clear that the goal was to identify and harness the values and strengths they already had, so that they were readily available when needed.

Resilience is business ethics problem, not a personality trait

In my work with Freedom to Speak Up guardians in the NHS, I’ve heard reports that some leaders are saying that being a guardian has a shelf-life. That after two years guardians get burnt out.  That to me is an appalling admission, and one reason why I’ve made the recommendation that all guardians should be offered some form of external supervision.

Our survey found that Freedom to Speak Up guardians find their resilience in making a difference. But when our resilience is outcome dependent, problems are created when the organisation does not value the same outcomes.

If a leader says that a role causes burnout in two years, they aren’t describing a job, they are describing a human risk. This is an example of resilience being an organisational ethics problem.

The gap between “laminated values” and personal values

We often join an organisation because of its values, whether they are explicit or not.

I don’t mean the “laminated values” – those shiny words like Integrity or Innovation plastered on corporate walls. The ones that the board over paid consultants to run stakeholder focus groups on.  

I’m talking about how the work is actually done. What is truly valued in the organisation – what gets rewarded; who gets promoted; whose voice is heard and whose is silenced.

Remembering why we do what we do can be a powerful motivator in resilience. In the 7 Cs of Resilience framework by Dr. Ken Ginsburg, meaning or purpose is tied to Contribution or Character – the sense that our personal effort matters to the world and the people we work for and with.

When our personal values – the values which drive our sense of self and meaning – are misaligned with how we are working, this creates moral injury

I have a friend who is a care worker. She  recently left the agency she worked for because she wasn’t allowed to stay a moment longer than the allotted time to sit with a lonely client. She felt that she was prevented in exercising the values that drew her to the work – to care. Instead the agency’s  operational values of efficiency and profit took precedence.

An example of a systemic contribution to moral injury was highlighted by the recent investigation by HSSIB into mental health crisis care in emergency departments. HSSIB found that staff and organisations reported they are often faced with choosing “the least harmful way to break the law” in order to try and keep patients safe.

Values are deeply personal, intertwined with our sense of self, our upbringing, what and who is important to us. Our values are core to our moral identity – who we are and how we act. They are there to help guide us in difficult decisions, like a compass, pointing to our “true North”.

But sometimes the way they are guiding us can be different to other people’s route.

That’s the thing with values – their “rightness” may feel subjective. This can be challenging, and we can feel torn between our personal values and the expectations of us by the values of our profession, organisation, or even society as a whole.

A chiropractor for your values

This is where misalignment occurs. When we feel we’re being asked to behave in a way contrary to our values. Prioritising things which don’t feel like a priority to you – processes above people; money over meaning. Not inherently unethical, but contrary to what you feel is important.

Misalignment burnout doesn’t just come just from what you do⁠.  It can come from values discrepancies around how you have to do it.

It’s the “how” of the work conflicting with the “who” of you as a person.

When we articulate our values, we are able to identify where (if any) there is a misalignment, and then we can  start to make small, shifts to bring ourselves back into alignment.

Think of it like a chiropractor for your values.

• Clarify: Begin by asking yourself what  are your core values? 
  How do you articulate them?
• Identify: Using your values, can you see where the misalignment occurring?
  Is it a toxic colleague, an unrealistic workload, or a systemic failure? (for example: “Care is one of my values, but I am being measured on speed”)
• Realign: Now here’s the bone cracking part.
  What small, manageable shifts can bring your daily actions back into alignment with your values? Who helps you to live your values?

Speaking up for our values

If AI is going to do the number-crunching and pattern-matching, then it is up to us,  the humans, to  make sure we do the real work of care and compassion. We are the ones who can notice what is not being said.

Living our values is an essential ingredient for resilience in the face of the global challenges which are coming thick and fast.

It is not a failing to be affected by an environment that ignores your values; it is a sign that your values are demanding to be heard.

Listen, and speak up for them.

If you’d like me to support you or your team with a bone-cracking values chiropractor session, get in touch

*